Blimme… whoever said “30’s are the new 20’s” better not be right.! Throughout my 20’s, I had quite a lot of jobs and certainly had a lot of fun. Although I did move between jobs quite often I was lucky enough that they were all reasonably decent jobs. However, like most people, I didn’t save money and thought I was indestructible. For the most part, this was slightly true… or so I thought.
As I approached 30 and not achieving any of the ‘goals’, I thought I would achieve in order to ‘conform’ (marriage, kids, house etc). I was starting to get a little worried. Turning 30 I had a pretty good job as a region manage for a national training company. But the company wasn’t easy to work for and the atmosphere at head office was usually tense. It always seemed the directors found joy in expressing their power each month. By selecting a small number of staff they would pick on. A company run by four males who clearly enjoyed wealth and letting everyone around them know they had money and power (within that environment). For the most part, I managed to dodge this torment as I was on the road most of the time. That was until it was ‘my turn’. I had spent a few months trying to gain a large contract and had let my attention drift from the smaller tasks. While still achieving “target” I hadn’t ‘smashed’ it as much as I had previously due to been focused on this huge contract. As I was finally signing things off with on this large contract it became my turn for abuse. After a heated exchange, I quit on the spot!
Now What?
Just a few weeks before quitting my job I had walked out of a relationship and was briefly staying at my brother’s. I was living paycheck to paycheck as I had spent all of my money on a house with the girlfriend I had just found out had been cheating. So, with no money in the bank, quitting my job and living with my brother at the age of 30 I needed a plan… and fast!
Where it all started
On my way back to my brothers after quitting my job I called my cousin. “Richard, I need to borrow your laptop. I’m starting a business”. My cousin Richard (aka “Walker”) was like a brother. He is only slightly younger and growing up with me and my two younger brothers we were all like close brothers. I explained to him I had quit my job and was starting a business. With him knowing my situation he went crazy… he thought I had finally lost my mind. However, later that day, sure enough, he dropped off his laptop and I began putting together a business. After a few days planning and building an initial website, I hit the phones.
A week later I called my cousin to say I was done with his laptop. He was so pleased to hear this and assumed I had decided to get a job. This wasn’t the case! I had done my first deal and my first purchase was a laptop of my own. I was up and running!
My First Business
My first venture into ‘business’ was a real learning curve. Within the first 10 months I had 6 employees, 2 offices and although there were many stumbling blocks we were heading in the right direction. Don’t get me wrong it was not easy. There were months that I struggled to pay the team and then there were months we were fine. All part of the daily drama with starting a new business. And, I was very much ‘learning on the job’.
Something has changed
I quickly started to notice something was changing, not with the business but with me. I was really struggling to concentrate and find the energy to function. Trying to overcome this I would consume vast amounts of caffeine, which quickly stopped having any effect. Why was I losing energy and concentration so drastically? I found myself needing to go home for a snooze at dinner. I was 30, this surely wasn’t normal… right?
First Signs
For weeks I had been struggling to focus on anything… quite literally focus. I would find myself going completely blind for short periods of time. I initially just put this down to stress, after all I was busy. However, one day I was stood on a chair to secure a network cable along the edge of the ceiling. Then, all I remember is being laid on the floor hearing my team shouting my name. I knew my eyelids were open, but, I couldn’t see anything. Totally black. After a few moments, my vision started to return and I carefully sat on a chair to try and work out what had happened. I had put off so many warning signs something wasn’t right for so long. It was finally time to see a doctor.
The Doctor Calls
After visiting my GP and them discussing what might be the issue I was booked an MRI scan. Following my conversation with the doctor and before my hospital visit for the scan I had been trying to rest a little more. Finally, I was starting to feel a little more human. The morning of the scan my mum called me to make sure I was feeling up to going. She had been telling me for months “something isn’t right CJ”, so she was keener than anyone for me to go for the scan. I was feeling good and contemplating not going for the scan at all. Stress and exhaustion clearly was the cause, or so I thought. Hearing that I was considering not going my mum said she was coming with me to the hospital, to make sure I did actually go. So as any well behaved 30 year old would do, I picked up my mum and off we went to the hospital for my scan.
First Time MRI
For anyone who hasn’t had an MRI before, it isn’t a scary thing. It’s just a scan, right? Well, I was sat in the waiting room at the hospital, just listening for my name to be called. There were around 10 seats in the waiting area with only a few people there. This all felt extremely relaxed and ‘normal’. My name was called, ‘Christopher Maloney’, it was my turn. I was then led into the scan area and given a quick talk through about the process and asked to remove my clothes and put on a gown. Double-check for metal items and told that the scan takes around 15 to 20 minutes and just to lay perfectly still. I was also told that my results will be posted to my doctor with a couple of weeks. All sounds easy enough. I was constantly tired so laying still was something I had become a pro at. Then as I was walked into the scan room and saw the machine for the first time, reality hit. This machine was massive!
A huge great machine shaped like a doughnut turned on its side with a long skinny platform sticking out of the middle as if it was poking its tongue out. At first thoughts, it was now real and slightly overwhelming. I was confused about how this slim ‘bed’ was ever going to fit me on it. I am 6ft3 and nearly 100kg. Not a small fella by any means. However, I laid down, tucked in my arms and was led back into this tight machine. Thinking I had a short period of time to have a small snooze I felt relaxed. Even joking with the nurse that it was likely I would have a nap. Those hopes of having sleep were quickly eliminated as the machine started. The noise was incredible and as the machine running it moves ever so slightly in and out.
Are we done yet?
Despite being vacuum-packed into this incredibly tight space while being moved in and out of the machine I relaxed. When you lay on the machine a staff member places a cage around your head that has a small tilted mirror on it. This gives you a tiny view of the outside of the machine and helps ease the feeling of being stuck. It difficult to have a good sense of time when laid in such a small space in a room with no windows and no natural light. However, after a while, I realised I had clearly been in there much longer than the 15 to 20 minutes I was told I would be. Eventually, the machine stopped and the bed I was laid on rolls out of the odd-shaped machine. The nurse enters the room and as I am I about to try and stand she instructs me not to and that she was putting some ‘dye’ in to help them see things more clearly on the machine.
She then injected a clear fluid into my arm and asked me to lay back down. Told the next part ‘wouldn’t take long’ I laid back down and braced myself for another squeeze in the machine. I knew at the point I must have been laid there for the best part of an hour. But more concerned about my poor mother say bored in the waiting room I complied and hoped it would be over with shortly.
That Conversation
Finally, I felt the machine stop and I was being slid out of the great machine. The nurse came round and asked me to take a seat in the room just outside of the scan room. I could now see daylight and had a better understanding of time. Then a gentleman approached me and told me to just rest for a moment and a doctor would come and discuss my results with me. Now, I knew I had been in there much longer than the 15-20 minutes they had told me, but I recalled them mentioning my results would take a couple of weeks. So, I sat and waited. A different face walked into the room about 10 minutes later and began chit chat. I had the feeling he was avoiding something and then out of nowhere he said…
“We found something and it’s big”
Throughout the scan, they had only focused on my head so I knew this wasn’t a compliment to any other body part. I could also tell he was nervous so I gently asked him what he meant. He explained there was something showing in my brain and they weren’t sure what it was at that stage. Asking if I was with anyone and me explaining I had my mother in the waiting area. He asked me if I wanted a “cup of tea” while I explained the situation to my mother and he would be back shortly. I told him that I didn’t want a cup of tea but if he could please make my mum one that would be great, after all she will probably need it more than me. After all, we are British! A cup of tea fixes everything, right?
Back to the waiting room
Upon my return to the waiting room, I could see this initial quiet room was now filled. People looking at me, frustrated that they had to wait for me. Knowing that I had been in there for so long my mother looked very nervous. I sat next to hear and there was a moment of silence before I said, “they’re bringing you a cup of tea!” As the room was completely packed and me still digesting the limited news I had been given my mum asked what had been said. I explained that they’ve found something and someone was coming to have a chat with us. She instantly knew it wasn’t good news as this wasn’t ‘standard procedure’.
